Okay ladies let’s face it guys are truly clueless. Why else would the saying “Get ‘em young, train ‘em right” apply so often. Very few guys know anything about relationships, or what a girl is truly looking for. If you do happen to find someone who understands about flowers and chocolate, romance and all that goes with it… For God’s sake HOLD ON TO HIM!
Now I decided to comment about this because I’ve done the “dating thing” the problem is I did the high school “dating thing”. Back when the biggest, most important date was prom, and if you got really ticked off at a person you just dumped him. At least half of the people you saw everyday were of the opposite sex and were more than willing to give you a chance.
But anyway, back to what I was saying. Girls, you’ve got to hint at what you want. At least for a while; maybe after you’re married he’ll surprise you by knowing what it is you really want. “I’m thinking about going on a cruise for our anniversary.” or “Maybe we should look into buying a bike”… Those thought don’t get there automatically. They come after months of “I want to go on a cruise someday,” and “Well maybe after we win the lotto I’ll just buy myself a bike…”
Don’t let him realize the ideas were really yours. Just use what most people call positive reinforcement. Get all excited when he does catch on. With flowers this is especially important. I was lucky there; I got flowers since day 1. But it didn’t matter what kind of day I was having if I got flowers they HAD to make EVERYTHING better. Otherwise they didn’t accomplish his goal and I’d never see those precious pedals again. Now for me that was easy I was in high school and having “No body loves me” syndrome…
Flowers DID make everything better…but sometimes, now, that’s not so easy when all I want to do is take a long hot bath and pretend the world doesn’t exist and he brings home flowers and some movie I don’t care about watching it doesn’t exactly work the same if you know what I mean…
Do I ignore his idea and take my bath anyway? NO!!!! You have to praise him. Put the flowers in water and cuddle through the movie jumping at the appropriate times.
I will admit I got my pure bred Momma’s boy partially trained. Here’s a hint to getting one this way. Look for the guys who DON’T get dates in high school! Look for the guys that had “online relationships” the geeks, the ones that generally weren’t given the time of day by the popular crowd at least not when it came to dating them… Drama geeks, band geeks, computer geeks… it really doesn’t matter most of then know how to treat a girl right.
Now the reason for the geeks you ask? Why not just look for someone who can treat a girl right? Geeks generally won’t have that “god’s gift to women” way of thinking. They will believe you are God’s gift to them. Something precious and special and treat you as such. They will count themselves lucky to have found you and will try everything in their power to keep you. Just be careful with dismissing such a creature. You can destroy him for all other women by being too harsh. Having done this myself, I am not pleased to admit, but having done this myself, twice. I can say it’s not a pleasant thing to watch. To see a guy you knew had great potential but wasn’t working out for whatever reason. Become hard and heartless with girls isn’t fun no matter what anyone says.
Also if you can, go for a Momma’s boy. As long as you don’t mind the momma this can really work out. I love my Mother in law! She is like the big sister I never had (and with two big sisters that’s weird to say, to say the least!), I can hang out with her and girl talk and it’s like hanging out with that great older friend!
But the thing about Momma’s boys is they know how to treat a girl better than any other breed of guy. It’s even better if he happens to have sisters too. He’ll see how guys treated his sisters, what he didn’t like the boyfriends doing what hurt his sisters, what made them cry, and he’ll learn from that on his own. Granted his momma will take the “whip” so to speak and help drill it in his head. If you want one that’s already house trained go for the Momma’s Boy.
Now moving on to the “Does he like me question” that can be a hard one to answer. No two guys flirt alike. In high school it was easy. If he wanted to date you he asked you out. To a dance, or movies… whatever. In the real world that’s not so simple. You have to get into the mind set of if he asked me to a movie he likes me… if he gets you on a date he likes you. But that doesn’t mean you’re dating. People don’t go “steady” anymore which in my opinion sucks monkey dick for one simple reason: IT WAS EASIER! You knew if the guy asked you to go steady you were not to see anyone else! These days I’m not exactly sure how this unspoken question ever gets solved.
Can you simply ask him if he’s seeing anyone else? HELL NO! He’ll get the idea in his head that you are, and of course you’re not if you were you wouldn’t be so worried about “does he like me?”….
Just relax and go with the flow. Soon you’ll realize just how serious he’s planning on being with you. Maybe you’ll find out the hard way and catch him on a date with another girl. Maybe you’ll be surprised and you’ll end up at the altar. Maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll be old fashioned giving you a promise ring to let you know you’re the only one he wants to be with. I don’t know all breeds so I can’t tell you what to expect; except to expect the unexpected. Men do have a tendency to surprise us from time to time.
Let’s face it, love is rollercoaster. Some rides are longer, more thrilling than others. Some have more highs and lows with loops and corkscrews; while others are shorter with fewer thrills. But we’re all buckled in until the ride comes back to the station.